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Showing posts from May, 2016

Disguise or representation?

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Maybe I'm wrong... or maybe everyone's mad. But the way I see it, people are nothing but bad actors with terrible masks that disguise one ugly face of theirs and shows you just what they want you to see. The beauty, the grace, the smile they have has nothing to do with who they truly are. Trying to take off the mask of the actor to see its true personality is nothing else but easy, since actors are very frail to begin with. Their emotions can be seen in their eyes, their intent can be outwitted even before they try to act, you can guess their lines and see through the charade.


Living without a mask is possible, but there is a difficult thing that one must surpass before being able to do so. Which is nothing but depressing, trying to take off the mask that you believed was your true self, the mask that was there from the first lie you were exposed to or you created. The pain of the past and what made you build this wall of expression on your face to begin with, tearing down eve…

20 Questions Part X: End of...

Going on without even acknowledging her question, I asked: "Do you like me?" This question was greeted with a very silent nod, something I actually foresaw. Because once she realized that I was playing her game and she only had one shot, she had no other choice but to make me in the remaining four questions to get to trust her. To do that she had to be honest in the first two questions and to hit back with some very telling questions about what she actually wants and how she feels. At number seventeen, like I suspected she asked me if I still believe in her. So I just nodded to also make her trust me. My question for her was: "Did you know a lot about me before starting this game?", which in foresight I should have asked from the beginning, but I was too concentrated on playing this game. She responded with a yes, to which we both ended our third beer. At question eighteen she asked me: "Do you think that we could work?" with a very sad expression she lo…

20 Questions Part IX: And the winner is...

But this wasn't a dead end, because it was a definite win for me at this point. My plan had worked wonderfully, since she had three options for this question and no matter what she would choose I would end up winning. For example if she answers this question with a yes, all I have to do is smile. If she answers no, I have to take a shot. From this point on she might think the following: in the first case it would be that I think that I still have a chance with her and completely forgot about the question of chosen ones or at least that I am happy that she thinks I can find someone to love. In the second scenario, is that I'm bitter and that I'm going to do everything in my power to fall for someone. Both scenarios are in my advantage, because no matter her answer I remain with the image of a lovesick puppy and further consolidates the question about love she put me through. The third scenario would be a timeout, something that I actually aimed to do either this round or t…

20 Questions Part VIII: One way ticket

Am I? Am I being toyed with? Am I being taken for a fool here? What the fuck is happening? These are some of the thoughts I had, then I remembered that this was my seventh shot. In my head was a tornado of curse words which included: shit, piss, cunt, motherfucker, whore, shit and cunt if I forgot to mention it. There were eight questions left for her to answer and all I had left was three shots, this game was as good as over, she had played this game perfectly from the beginning. When i figured this out I seemed really frustrated so I kept playing as I was angry with her answer. Not to let her see that I caught on to her little plan, but considering what she just did she probably gave that answer just to let me know that this is still a game with a winner and a loser. A game which I picked, so there's that sweet irony. Which meant that now that she let me know that the game is still on, that I will have to have my guard up. So with the same perfect poker face, she was a master K…

20 Questions Part VII: The fallen

Am I?
The second round was about to start and I just remembered that I forgot to mention something very important in part III of this story. After breaking up with the ex I had the tinder period, which was pure garbage and on which I gave up faster than the flash could travel to time. Seeing how every girl I talked to was self-absorbed, not to mention the other "matches" I had where they didn't even respond, it struck me that what my friend told me years ago was nothing but a lie. Here's why. I had met with girls ranging from the age of 19 to women of the age of 30, they pretty much said the same thing: "I want a man that knows what he wants, can handle himself, is funny, a gentlemen." But it was all bullshit, all they did was prove me that they had no idea what they wanted. Well that, and the fact that they did not want me. I say this not because I'm a bitter ass, but because when I talked to them and confronted them with question of the sorts: "B…

20 Questions Part VI: Took an arrow

She didn't respond with a yes or no but instead with a timeout, which for me obviously created doubts about her future answer, thinking "Why would she hesitate? Why wouldn't she respond truthfully? Does she think that I would judge her based on her answer and hold her tied to her past?" The truth would be somewhere in between, I would hold that in mind for me if I would ever have any reason to doubt her words or her actions, but I would never act on it unfounded. Usually by unfounded I don't mean just one odd thing or two, more of a multitude of such actions that could bring up doubt in me. I might have my trust issues, but I would never do anything like that without any explanation. But more due to the lack of information and weird behavior from her. Like I said I do not wish to make the same mistakes twice. So I thought to tease her a bit as she could not speak and told her: "You know, as fucking weird as this is, since it was all setup by my ex and you a…

20 Questions Part V: Low hanging fruit

Well...Did you?

Trying to focus on my questions and what I want to get out of the first round, I think I should be more aggressive and get to the dirtiest of the dirty questions I had prepared to maybe throw her off, so I ask: "Sex should be more than once a day, right?", she looks at me in awe and start blushing just to answer with a yes. As I grin like a smartass and a dumbass she asks bluntly: "Are you an asshole?", I stopped smiling for a second, answered yes and started laughing, to which she takes a shot telling me to fuck off. So I continue and ask her: "Are you the most important thing in your life?", the reason I asked this is to find out how much she either cherishes her family, the whole world, her pets or herself and to see how big her ego is. But to my surprise she answered with a resounding yes and another drink from the beer, if you want to ask why I drank less than her from the beer you should know I did not drink less. Suddenly she starts…

20 Questions: Episode IV: A new question

Here...we...go

Are you sure you understood the game? I asked her. She smiled and nodded while her eyes were sparkling. I also explained why the two check boxes for each answer to every questions and added the fact that this game has a ten minute break after the first ten questions. A break where we both should think about the remaining questions we wrote and if we want to change them. Also if the both participants want to jump right into the last ten questions they can skip the break. And each participant has the right to two time outs, he can use them whenever he wants. In that time of five minutes the participant has to sit in silence and not talk, if he talks provoked by the other participant. The other participant has the right to deny a question. Something just to make the game even more interesting to play with and provoke the other player into playing this game as best as one can. There is one other rule to this game, I told her. She sighs and asks if that's the last rule, …

Addresse to a dress

Let's just get over with this.

God damn it, the sexiest thing a woman or anyone can have is not their mind. A mind is nothing tangible or sexy in the slightest, neither is(referring to being sexy) her/his brains. So please stop saying that, here's the thing. For someone to be sexy it means that they must think, act, be a certain way to appear more appealing to someone. It means maybe for some to have confidence, to smile a lot, the way they talk, walk, flirt, express themselves. Those are things that make someone be sexy, attractive or appealing. Not their mind, brain or heart, secondly not everyone can be sexy, attractive or appealing. Let's face it (or maybe not), some are fat and disgusting, some don't wash themselves and are disgusting, finally some are just damn ugly and disgusting. And there is nothing sexy about that unless you make it so, with the help of fetishes.

No matter how intelligent, approachable, mature, wise, cunning a person might seem when you talk …

20 Questions Part III: Filler and exposition the chapter

The one.

So before we go on, here are some things you might need to know about me or you forgot. Like I said, my love life wasn't exactly sparkly. So to put you into a bit of context let's start from the beginning. The first girlfriend I had was when I was fifteen, cheated on me and how do I know that she cheated? Well, I caught her in the act. So maybe you can see where this is going. Then the following six until I got to the age of eighteen did the same thing. And so we skip for now the age of eighteen straight into the nineteenth, I'll explain later, I promise. So while talking to friends and a good friend that was older by ten years than me and my friends, she said: "Well you know, that girls maybe wanted something from you and you didn't give it to them. That's why they cheated." My response was ultimately a giant what the fuck is wrong with them. Not because I did not want sex, but because it jumped from kiss to sex, my thoughts were always somewher…

20 Questions Part II: Let's Play

Honestly...

Naturally, my answer was that I will, since I want to. So she asked where are we going and what are we doing, she looked like she was testing me, her eyes seemed to say: "Let's see what you've got, punk. Don't you dare waste my time." So a brilliant idea struck me and told her that we should start by walking. Then I asked her if she was hungry, she was looking a bit surprised by the question, answered with a yes. Without any hesitation I asked where she wanted to eat and if she wants after we eat to get a drink. To my amazement she answered with a simple: "Whatever you want and wherever you want I'm in. I'm not too picky with my food.". Knowing that I went with a simple but never to fail pizza and beers. So again she asked where are we going, my answer seemed to please her: "To get some pizza, I know of a quite good place where we can do both. Going back to my brilliant idea I asked: "Do you want to play a game?", obvi…

20 Questions Part I: To will or not to will.

Will you or will you not?

So my dating life wasn't stellar to say the least, that is to be very, very kind with the choice of my words. Now to tell you how this all begins. One day while I was attending college, I got this weird and down right distressing message: "Please come and see me, I beg you. I really need to see you right now.". The message itself was strange, the stranger part was that it was from my ex-girlfriend. And looking back on how it all ended, I couldn't think of a single reason she would send me that message, other than the fact that she needs help. But there was still a chance that she just wanted to see me, in which case I did not want to be bothered. So I replied with a simple and very dry message back saying: "What do you need?". The response to that was almost the same message, but with an added hook to reel me in: "I need to see you, please! Just this once, I need you for something. I need your help! Please come behind the coll…